The Shopping Test (1) – Results

Well. That was… eventful.

I bought nothing. However, I did go into Evans and have a good old laugh, so there’s that. I felt bad about slagging Evans’ clothes off in my first blog, so I decided to find some of the skirts I’d made fun of and try them on. I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong, and in this case, being wrong would have worked out really well for me, but I wasn’t wrong. I was very right.

I’ll warn you now, none of the pictures that follow are particularly attractive.

I’ll start with the best of a bad bunch. This floral number is, to my tastes, not the nicest of fabrics. The cut isn’t particularly great either, but what it does have going for it is the fact that it’s cotton. No stretch means no cling. Sadly all the skirts I tried on had elasticated waists, which as I’m sure you understand, upset me greatly. Still, this one was not as unflattering as the others, and I was pretty surprised to find out that a maxi skirt does not look as hideous on me as I was expecting.


Next we have a baffling striped embarrassment of a skirt. Quite what’s going on there is beyond me. I wasn’t sure how it was possible for it to look worse on than it did on the hanger, but somehow it did.


This final skirt is the one that pissed me off the most. £27 for a piece of see-through-thin jersey and an elastic waist band. Unacceptable.

As little accents around the store they have ‘Must Have’ items marked out. Quite what in the sainted bastard they thought they were doing with these little beauties is beyond me. Who. Needs. Velvet. Leggings. That question is so rhetorical that I’ve simply done away with the question mark. Grammatical semantics sort of seem pointless in a world where those leggings exist.

I wouldn’t usually go into shops and try on clothing that I know isn’t going to compliment my body shape, in fact, I never do, who wants to feel crappier when they shop? But Evans is supposed to be catering for my body type. I wouldn’t have minded so much except there were no other options. It seems like Evans only has two settings, 1) Look like a questionably dressed 60 year old woman or 2) Put on the velvet leggings and give up. I’m not ready for either of those options yet.

25 Comments

  • 1
    EvilJoBob
    September 24, 2010 - 12:24 am | Permalink

    I’m equally baffled by the velvet leggings. I had a confusing/depressing trip to Primark this week and saw the delightful selection of velvet items they had there, it took me back to my teenage years… when I still wouldn’t have worn them. Ick!

    Primark always gives me a good laugh with their sizes, I ended up walking out with a size 12 and couple of size 14 tops and size 16 jeans, but refused to try on the size 18 cardigan after the 16 wouldn’t button up around my hips.

  • 2
    Nighto
    September 24, 2010 - 11:23 am | Permalink

    I do this all the time. Try on awful or baffling things & take photos to see if my instincts are wrong about them, some things working surprisingly well off the hanger and often a bargain is to be had, though mostly I just do so to figure out wtf the designers were thinking. I have a quite spectacular set of shots of a blue jumpsuit they did for the Beth Ditto range last year. I cannot fathom who that would have worked on. When I was still struggling with whether I wanted to continue as a fashion designer, my mum kept saying, “You’re a big girl, howsabout designing plus-size clothes that you, yourself, would want to wear?” and I always shrugged out of it by saying, it is probably the most difficult design job you can do as fit issues are a complete mare with ‘plus-size’ [shudder] and tbh, it’s just not a cool thing to want to do. Though this latest Beth Ditto range [and a couple of online retailers from overseas] have changed my eye somewhat, they have basically designed a collection that has a pretty even split of things which works on three body types and a few magic universal pieces, [I have bought this skirt again, as the very similar one from last year I have worn to death, I reckon it would work on most people over the height of say 5’5″ http://www.evans.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33054&storeId=12553&productId=1992627&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&categoryId=228118&parent_categoryId=228117&sort_field=Relevance&pageSize=20&beginIndex=1

    Did you get sent Evans’ online questionaire a month or so ago? Now that made me queen angry pants. Would you mind Evans advertising diet stuff in the changing rooms? Um, yes. How about chips then? Um, fuck off?

  • 7
    Polly
    September 25, 2010 - 10:51 pm | Permalink

    Why not stop wasting your time moaning, writing blogs and taking photos of yourself in Evans and go to the gym, loose some weight and then you can enjoy TopShop like me. The reason shops don’t cater for you is because at your age, you shouldn’t be so out of shape and not enough people look like you to make it viable.

    Simples xx

    • 8
      September 26, 2010 - 2:16 am | Permalink

      Oh great! Thank you for solving my life! But also, whilst you’re there, can you please take a running fuck at a passing bus? Yeah? That would be radical.

      I never moaned about being fat, or the reasons behind it. What are people supposed to do if they are bigger than the market ‘norm’? We may make you want to vomit, and that’s fine, but to bitch about my size is… dull. Try again. Only… you know, try harder.

    • 9
      Bazza
      September 26, 2010 - 3:25 am | Permalink

      Polly Sometimes people just enjoy being who they are and embracing who they are. I am a large lad, do not give a fuck what you think and will ignore all of your “advice”. I have no desire to go to Top Shop as I am not a trend following sheep and will just enjoy life whilst looking good in Debenhams clothes. You however, have truly shown that you are on the “sheep” route by using the word “simples”, a catchphrase used by a puppet on an advert for car insurance. Hell is going to be a lonely place for you but at least it will not take long for the chicken skin to burn from your desperate bones.

      Fuck you.

    • 10
      Andy
      September 26, 2010 - 5:12 am | Permalink

      Gosh, what a terribly boring response and one which is sadly expected. It must be very easy to lambaste someone for being plus-size from your ivory tower, I get that. A lame potshot from a ‘norm’ that is increasingly not the norm. Meanwhile, you are overlooking the fact that the intent of this blog is to discuss the clothing options available for plus-size girls in a world that should be amply equipped to accommodate them but inexplicably isn’t. There are limited & very dull clothes made to fit larger people at the moment, to an extent that is mind-blowing. There is an ample market and one that should be catered for but simply isn’t. That is the issue here. Ros, and her readers, aren’t extolling the virtues of being overweight, this isn’t a drive for superiority but rather for equality. Weight isn’t the only clear marker of health – I’d rather be an overweight person who exercises and lives a clean life-style than someone who is very slim but maintains their weight by unhealthy means. I’m not suggesting for one moment that this is the case with all slim people, or even most, but rather that appearances are not always the most accurate way of judging health. It is far too easy to be judgmental and to balk at others but in a country where the ‘average’ dress size for a woman is 16 you have to consider that Topshop is already a slightly uncomfortable experience for the ‘average’ woman and a hugely uncomfortable one for the thousands and thousands more who are above average. Who the fuck are you to place a great deal of importance of size and shape? Woman can be beautiful and, more importantly, intelligent, successful and confident regardless of their shape. That is what this blog is about, not a number on a tag. You make me sick and you contribute to the ever-growing notion that someone’s self-worth should be determined by a dress-size. It is infantile and should make you embarrassed. Continue with your high-school bullshit whilst people, like Ros, do more important and inspirational things. I’m ranting but rightly so and any negative, discouraging impact your comment has is a massive step in the wrong direction for us all. I hope for your sake that one day you understand the world, our bodies and our psyches a little better as right now it seems like you are lacking a basic understanding of how people are and how to interact with them.

      Ros, keep doing what you are doing, this person is pathetic.

      However, whilst we’re here

    • 11
      Anna
      September 26, 2010 - 10:48 am | Permalink

      Ok, let’s say Ros wanted to ‘loose’ (massive idiot points to you, my friend, though this point has been covered) some weight, which she doesn’t need to because she looks beautiful, is she supposed to wear ugly clothes in the meantime? Why not just have someone follow her round with a bell whilst a crowd jeers her (I suspect this crowd would mostly consist of halfwitted bigots like your good self)?

      Also, I fear you may be missing the entire point of this blog (CONGRATULATIONS!: 10 more idiot points to you), and therefore wonder why you were on it in the first place, if not to just put across your small-minded opinion.

      I fear the world you wish to create. People are not here to conform, conformity does not create, nor inspire. It is not innovative and innovation is what we rely on to survive (see adaptation from pre GCSE Biology). Though on an upside, those unable to adapt don’t survive…so bigots are a dying breed. Yey!

      Oh and if you think this is me with a chip on my shoulder because I’m overweight, it’s not, I’m ‘average’ but I find your attitude more than sickening.

  • 12
    Carmel
    September 26, 2010 - 7:14 am | Permalink

    And learn to spell please it’s not ‘loose’ it’s lose, fool.

  • 13
    stina
    September 26, 2010 - 8:06 am | Permalink

    Why not stop wasting your time writing banal shite on other people’s blogs and, I don’t know, learn to spell? ‘Loose some weight’? Dimwit.

  • 14
    September 26, 2010 - 8:33 am | Permalink

    I would like to highlight a few points –

    Firstly Evans is part of the Arcadia group who also own your precious topshop therefore a bit of originality with clothing for the larger lady would possibly be expected.

    Secondly the average size woman in the UK is a 16 making it definately viable to cater for that Market.

    Thirdly and most importantly I think you’re a Cunt!

  • 15
    Polly
    September 26, 2010 - 4:51 pm | Permalink

    Wow! Fat people are so judgemental!

    I make a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes because I am dyslexic. Maybe the person with the bell could follow me around also, you know, so everyone can jeer at that?

    I still think my points are valid and I think your defence attacks such as me being a cunt and to kill myself just prove that I hit a nerve considering my solution was actually the most beneficial to the blog author. If you can’t get clothes to fit you, its because you are too fat. Rather than try and change the British high st to suit yourselves, why not change yourselves to fit into regular clothes?

    Being happy when overweight is worrying, it means you will only get bigger. And then your health with suffer badly. But fuck heart attacks and diabetes right, lets sit on our big fat arses typing crap about Evans!

    I think we all know who won this argument.

  • 16
    tinkerbell
    September 26, 2010 - 7:28 pm | Permalink

    Polly’s right I’m afraid. The answer is exercise, eat less run more, be healthy, be slim, be happy. Stop lying to yourself.

    As for ‘please take a running fuck at a passing bus’ very unprofessional from Rosalind. You’ve encouraged a lot of vile remarks for other people.

    But hey, good luck with everything.

  • 17
    September 26, 2010 - 7:55 pm | Permalink

    … and it wasn’t you?

    can’t you see that saying Ros shouldn’t be so “out of shape” at her age is like my saying you should be able to spell *at your age*? (is it five??)

    I actually quite like the velvet leggings, sorry Ros.

    And I found some lovely jeans in Asda – they have some pretty good clothes, and even their G21 range goes up to a 20/22, I think. This meant I could get a really thuper Hello Kitty t-shirt.

    I know, I know, shouldn’t be wearing Hello Kitty *at my age*

    bwahahahahahaha in a bowser stylee.

    Miss you, lindy-belle

    xx

  • 18
    Amy
    September 26, 2010 - 8:29 pm | Permalink

    Why is it that people who make silly spelling/grammatical mistakes always play the “dyslexic” card?

    Oh, and as for your last comment… NOT you.

  • 19
    September 26, 2010 - 10:25 pm | Permalink

    You both appear to be confused. I don’t think either of you understand what the blog is really about. I’ll explain it to you.

    This is a blog for people who find it difficult to buy well fitting clothes on the high street. Not about me moaning about being overweight. If you’d have actually read the blog then you might have noticed that.

    Though Polly, your concern about my health is touching.

  • 20
    Polly
    September 27, 2010 - 11:54 am | Permalink

    I can’t read everybody’s names on here as there is a profile picture box in the way but ‘Cember’ no I can’t see that calling someone an idiot because they are dyslexic and comparing them to a 5 year old for making a spelling mistake is the same as me thinking Ros would have a much better shopping experience and lessen her risk of fat related illness if she lost some weight. Bit then what do I know, I am only an idiot (Alexander) wang cunt.

    Ros, I do understand the point of your blog. I appreciate you are happy being the size of a Fiat Punto but lets face it, if you were of a normal size, would you be writing this blog? No, so therefore if you lost weight then you wouldn’t have to post pistures of yourself looking like an Easter egg in Evans changing room.

    What you need to understand is not everyone is going to have the same opinion as you and try not to fly off the handle when someone uses the comment section to write a comment that isn’t kissing your sizable arse. I suggested you lose weight, you told me to kill myself. I think that even you know you are out of order.

    Its a shame that the majority of the readers of this blog have conducted themselves so badly over this as if Ros does find any success with this blog (doubtful), I think the vicious comments left will ruin any chances of credibility with the big name stores.

    Right, I’m off to the gym, welcome to the wonderful world of blogging.

    HOOK, LINE AND SINKER!!!

  • 21
    tinkerbell
    September 27, 2010 - 2:38 pm | Permalink

    Polly, you’re just being unnecessarily callous now. Move on.

  • 22
    Katie
    September 28, 2010 - 7:34 pm | Permalink

    I’d sort out the Lego man hair-do before the weight! Sorry…

  • 23
    Ben G
    September 29, 2010 - 2:00 pm | Permalink

    As cruel as it may sound I think the argument that it is overweight people who ought to change, rather than the clothes industry is a fair point. Looking good ought be at most a secondary concern to being healthy. Being happy should come above both. Ros, it’s brave of you to start this blog and I couldn’t be more behind people flexing some creative and critical mind grapes but you must be prepared for criticism. There is an important difference between being a positive and supportive friend and staying quiet when people you care about blog about being too fat to buy clothes in normal shops. I love you and want you to be happy but you quite urgently need to develop a thick skin (fnar) to an obvious and reasonable argument, however poorly typed or cruelly intended.

    Apologies for any typoes in this, I’m typing on tiny keys on a sweaty bus. Xx

  • 24
    October 15, 2010 - 5:46 am | Permalink

    Greetings, I admire your website. This is a cool site and I wanted to post a note to let you know, nice job!
    Chao,
    Chris

    Louis Vuitton

  • 25
    October 18, 2010 - 4:55 am | Permalink

    I had been arguing with my close friend on this issue for quite a while, base on your ideas prove that I am right, let me show him your webpage then I am sure it must make him buy me a drink, lol, thanks.

    – Kris

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